Choosing the Weird

Finding My Voice "Off the Grid"

Jun 28, 2025

The other day, a friend texted me:
"Where have you been? I don’t see you on socials anymore!"

It was a sweet message, and one I’ve gotten a few times now. I told her the truth:
"I made the conscious choice to step away. It wasn’t healthy. I’ve been pouring myself into things that feel more meaningful and aligned, such as writing my blog, publishing my magazine, painting, and spending time in nature and with my family. It’s not 'normal,' but it’s good for my spirit. And honestly, I’m not afraid to be the weird one anymore."

It’s been a few months now, and a few friends have reached out here and there. Honestly, it warms my heart that a couple of people noticed. Not that many, haha; but that’s cool! I didn’t disappear for attention. I disappeared for peace. And peace doesn’t need an audience.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately on how I used to navigate social media and how much of myself I gave to it. For years, I was deeply immersed in it. Honestly, I’d say I was addicted. I was starving for a creative outlet, desperate for a voice in a world that felt too loud and too fast.

Now that I’ve found those things in places that truly nourish my soul, I see how much the social media cycle was draining me.

It’s a strange world online, isn’t it? People often aren’t their truest selves. Much of the content lives in extremes: highlight reels, outrage, and perfectionism masked as authenticity. I found myself thinking poorly of people I love because of the curated version they presented. And I questioned myself, too. That comparison trap runs deep. You start to believe you have to be polished, productive, and inspirational at all times or you shouldn't show up at all.

But that’s not life. Not real life, anyway. We lose jobs. We get sick. We face heartbreak, grief, disability, and depression. We fight. We grow. We fall apart and put ourselves back together. That’s the truth. And pretending otherwise started to feel like a betrayal of my soul.

So now? I live slower. I share long-form thoughts here, knowing that only a handful of people may read them, and I am entirely at peace with that. I paint some pieces that never leave my home. I cook without the urge to snap a picture every time. I write many things just to myself. And I don’t post pictures of my kids.

That boundary feels especially important.

It’s not about hiding them. It’s about protecting what’s sacred. I deeply love and appreciate the long-distance family and friends who do go the extra mile to check in and stay connected. This isn’t about them. This is about the people who lurk quietly, who watch our lives unfold like a show but never engage meaningfully. The ones who act like they know us just because they see our posts, but haven't spoken to us in years. Social media is wonderful for pretend relationships, but real community takes intention, care, and actual effort. Some people don’t have the space (or the fucks to give) and that’s fine, but let’s not pretend it's something it’s not.

I say I “walked away,” but maybe it’s more accurate to say I’ve found a healthier distance. I still leave breadcrumbs now and then, crumbs that lead back here, to the slower, fuller, more intentional version of me. Maybe someone will follow them. Maybe not. Either way, I’ve found my peace, my pace, and my voice. That’s the real victory.

Journaling Through the Digital Shift: Prompts for Reflection

Where were you in life when social media first became a significant part of your world? What were your initial feelings or expectations about it?
Do you feel you were molded by social media, like me, or was it more of a fleeting blip in your life? How did its rise impact your sense of self or your daily habits?
How has social media changed the way you see people, or even how you engage in your relationships, both online and off? Have these changes been for the better, or worse, or a complex mix?
Could you walk away from the way you currently use social media, even for a short period? What feelings or fears does that question bring up for you? What might you gain or lose?